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 | Procyon Herald - Issue 34: Bank on It |  | |
Issue 34: Bank on It
01-23-2007 11:56
Welcome to the Procyon Herald. Well, it didn’t take long. Server administration announced this morning the launch of a new feature on the server website: Bank Statements. With this handy device, players are now free to look into previous bank account activity, viewing who made deposits, who made withdrawals, for how much, and what the current balance is. All four governments of the colonies immediately pounced on the newly available data, immediately creating the PRS (Procyon Revenue Service) which will be examining each account to ensure everyone is paying their proper income tax. This in turn led to the establishment of a new clan, the Procyon Chartered Accountants Squadron, whose mandate is to find tax shelters for Procyon’s high rollers. Already, the Taxmen have fought several pitched battles against the Bean-counters outside the luxury liner Hawaii, where it was rumored several high profile tax evaders were hiding out.
Also new to the server is the light-fighter clan which calls themselves Jasta Eleven. Flying strictly light fighter ships (11 types are available), this crew adheres to strict rules of engagement and etiquette, and entertain themselves by hunting down VHFs which they proceed to demolish, much to the amusement of anyone fortunate enough to be watching. Asked why he prefers light fighters, clan spokesman Schultzie seemed unable to decide if it was because they tasted great, or were less filling.
Fallout from the recent Battle of Chugoku continued on the server this week. A debate has emerged over the fairness and legality of clones – specifically, clones bearing the tags of clans in which a player is not a member. Lawyers from both sides of the argument were amassed around the jump holes to Chugoku, where the attorneys camped out and exchanged nomad fire in an effort to make their case. In the end, Server Admin Sion weighed in with his ruling that, as Cobalt leader Cougar had given his consent for the Cobalt tag to be used by the Seagulls prior to the battle, none of the gulls were in contravention of server rules, and would therefore not be banned. Regardless of the ruling, analysts are speculating that the question of clones might be a moot point anyway, as the new system battle rules might well nullify any advantage offered by assigned targeting. In any case, so long as clones exist, the question of who killed who will remain unanswered, taking the fun of ‘bragging rights’ out of the equation completely, and reducing the entertainment potential for all involved.
Finally, a new theory concerning the physical laws of our universe was unveiled today by the research scientists of Ageira Technologies. This new theory (known as the Theorum of Forum Smacktalkitus), states that for every minute of PVP action on the server, a full hour of bitching and arguing will follow on the forums. Much like Pavlov’s theory of Classical Conditioning, you can bank on it.
For the Procyon Herald, this is war correspondent Ravenwood, signing off.
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| SgtWildman on 01-23-2007 12:17:11 | | |
So true, so true. I read all the bitching over a 2 second engagement..LOL
Guilty as charged..
Great write Ravenwood! | | | | |
| Admiral Mank on 01-23-2007 13:52:52 | | |
Nice | | | | |
| Cheech on 01-23-2007 17:22:41 | | |
"This new theory (known as the Theorum of Forum Smacktalkitus), states that for every minute of PVP action on the server, a full hour of bitching and arguing will follow on the forums."
Lmfao. | | | | |
| 473x on 01-23-2007 21:21:21 | | |
"This new theory (known as the Theorum of Forum Smacktalkitus), states that for every minute of PVP action on the server, a full hour of bitching and arguing will follow on the forums."
Where's the frickin results? I wanna see hard evidence. (Other than what's on the forum). Frankly I think they've WAY understated the time that goes into the bitching. | | | | |
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