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 | Procyon Herald - Issue 11: An unholy alliance? |  | |
Issue 11: An unholy alliance?
10-21-2006 10:31
Welcome to the eleventh edition of the Procyon Herald, where the beer is always cold, the wings are always hot, and the reporters just keep on chillin’! The inhabitants of Planet Crete were treated to a dazzling display of pyrotechnics last night, as the night sky was filled with the blasts and flashes from no fewer than 17 freelancers. The evening began much like any other Friday night, with the Scorpions out for a pleasure ride, enjoying the scenery and having a few laughs among friends. The Scorps were on their way back from visiting the remains of Lucky Logan Conner when they suddenly noticed a barrage of nomad blaster fire coming their way. Vice Admiral Mank, LFW, Jade, Furby, Zero and Sparx immediately took evasive action, scattering and sending out a distress signal which was to reach all the way into Omicron Beta (as we shall see). Meanwhile, back in Gamma, the sinister nomads Blackhawk, Avarice and the hitherto unseen and unreported RazorBladeKisses set about their prey, knocking off a wing here, demolishing a tail there, and generally pwning their human targets much like a cat will toy with a mouse before biting its head off.
And this they did, until the strangest of saviours appeared over the horizon. (Or at least the equivalent of the horizon – it’s kind of impossible to have a horizon in space, but I’m trying to add some dramatic flair, here, so work with me.) As if out of nowhere, an Org detachment appeared on the scopes of both the Scorpions and the Immortals. “Ah crap,” sighed Mank. “Bring it!” challenged Blackhawk. “Does this eagle make my ass look fat?” asked Fenrir.
Aside from Fenrir, the Org raiding party included Zyklon, Gangsta, BadBadBoy, and Fgt. Crescens had been spotted in Beta, but someone had to remain behind to tend to the barbecue and make sure the burgers didn’t burn, and he was consequently unable to join in the fun.
What followed was a general melee that 1975 Philadelphia Flyers would’ve been proud of. A classic rumble in the jungle, no holds barred massacre of biblical proportions. No one was spared, and the docking ring at Crete was kept pretty busy. (In fact, a Corsair maintenance crew had to come out at one point during the action to lubricate the hinges of the ring, lest they cease up from all the use and abuse.)
During the melee, various Scorpions were able to make their escape, and Vice Admiral Mank soon found himself in the unique position of fighting alongside the Org against the Immortal nomads. With the majority of the Scorpions having left Gamma, and with bioxard and Prince Kheldar having entered the system, joining the action on the side of the Immortals, the odds became a little more balanced. Nonetheless, at one point during the battle, the Org (and, ahem, Vice Admiral Mank) were able to establish a position behind the docking ring, and what followed was a classic raping as the Immortals tried again and again to launch and carry on the fight. Server admin Sion was on hand to witness it in his invisible ship, and even he had to concede that there didn’t seem to be much point to it.
After a time, the Immortals adopted a different tactic, staying docked until a predetermined signal, when all of them launched simultaneously, and in this manner, successfully burst through the raping blockade. From that point on, it was good old fashioned PvP at its finest. By my count, the Org had the greater number of kills, but their advantage in numbers must be taken into account when assessing who got schooled.
In the end, the Org decided they’d made their point, and drifted out of the system. Left alone with RazorBladeKisses, Blackhawk and Mank, your faithful reporter was able to interview the combatants. “Captain Planet and hoarse are average, at best,” suggested Blackhawk. “Not as good as me. In fact, the only one of them who has any skill at all is Orylon, and it’s pretty even between us,” he said.
Meanwhile, RazorBladeKisses and Mank appeared to be having a domestic dispute, with Mank apparently PMing Razor, and Razor responding by insulting him over the system chat. Eventually, we were able to attract her attention long enough to learn that the Immortals did not, in fact, start out as a nomad clan. Rather, they originated as pirates, and were forced to become nomads in order to take possession of their system back on LV. You learn a little everyday…
At this point, sometime after 4 in the morning, I ran out of beer and decided to call it a night. My home base of Freeport 5 was just too far away for my sleepy ass to bother flying to, so I made a strategic withdrawal back to Crete.
For the Herald, this is war correspondent Ravenwood, signing off.
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| Cobra on 10-21-2006 13:19:11 | | |
Mank, you win the bet. He -did- make a special report on this. Damn, now I owe him a Cardamine... where can I get a Carda--wait a sec, don't I still have that prescription?
*digs around* DAMNDAMN it's expired. Oh well. What would Mank want with Cardamine anyway... oh my. | | | | |
| Crescens on 10-21-2006 22:08:33 | | |
The title is somewhat misleeding as The Organization remains unaffiliated with everyone but the Outcasts. | | | | |
| Vice Admiral Mank on 10-22-2006 01:21:54 | | |
We fought a common enemy, please everyone don't look into it too much. | | | | |
| ~Tzatana~ on 10-22-2006 18:41:19 | | |
*Looks into it*
Same old same old. Seems as if the Alliance holds a grudge longer than the Hoover Dam holds water. Anyone surprised?
Me neither. | | | | |
| Vice Admiral Mank on 10-23-2006 15:27:52 | | |
Tzatana, I may be a little dense here, but are you saying that we hold a grudge too long, nor not long enough? I am sorry but I just don’t get it. | | | | |
| Caboose on 10-23-2006 23:23:18 | | |
Another awesome entry Ravenwood!
Give this man a medal! | | | | |
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