|
 | Procyon Herald - Issue 78: Curacao Down Under |  | |
Issue 78: Curacao Down Under
03-03-2010 13:16
Welcome to the Procyon Herald, bringing you the finest coverage of the Galactic Oscars this side of Junyo!
The Galactic Oscars indeed lead off today’s stories. Dignitaries have already started arriving at Planet Los Angeles in Liberty’s California System, in advance of this coming Sunday’s 3874th annual Academy Awards ceremony. The red carpets are being rolled into position, and the fashion police are busy sharpening their knives er, pencils.
Critics agree, Cameron James’s sci-fi thriller ‘Avatar 19’ – released in 5D – is a definite favorite to win ‘Best Picture’. But other critics believe his flick will face stiff competition from Curacao Hilton’s latest home-made sex video which, once again, was ‘accidentally’ leaked onto the Neural Net.
(Curacao, if we’ve told you once, we’ve told you a thousand times – if you want to avoid having sex videos leaked onto the net for all the world to see, for God’s sake woman, stop filming yourself having sex!)
Though the two camps are split between films, the older, more traditional members of the Academy have already stated that, if ‘Curacao Down Under’ wins the Oscar, they’ll find it hard to swallow.
Ahem.
In happier news, two weeks on from my surgery, my gums are healing very nicely. Although I swear, the periodontist must have used an entire spool of suture thread to stitch me back together. In the past couple of days alone, I must have pulled a good 6 inches out of my mouth.
(And that, dear reader, is hopefully the only time you’ll ever see me use the phrase ‘pulled 6 inches out of my mouth’.)
Finally, we regret to inform you that we've still neither seen nor heard from our special correspondent, Bob Olson. Bob, if you're out there, get that report filed pronto, or I'll clean out the broom closet we've given you for an office. Heh!
That’s it for this edition. For the Herald, this is Ravenwood, signing off.
Back to the main page | |  | |  |
| Obvious Mouse on 03-04-2010 13:15:42 | | |
Thankfully, you'll never have to use the phrase again for me to follow this link and have a chuckle! | | | | |
Add your comment:
|
