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 | Procyon Herald - Issue 59: Tit for Tat |  | |
Issue 59: Tit for Tat
11-14-2007 23:33
Welcome to the Procyon Herald, where mammary glands are always appreciated, except when they’re hairy, and male, and pierced, and…er…just get that visual out of my head! Damn you Tisko! Moving right along!
Topping today’s news, General Bill inspected the ranks of his non-existent army today, and soon came to the realization that much more would need to be done to bring his crack regiment of Freelancers up to snuff, in anticipation of the upcoming battle for Magellan. Magellan, formerly owned by the Polish Mafia, is under attack from the cyber entient 1011. 1011, it must be said, could benefit from a media relations class or two, as the only comment he (it?) had when reached by Herald reporters for comment was a monotonous repetition of the phrase, “TERMINATE ZETA FORCE. TERMINATE ZETA FORCE. TERMINATE ZETA FORCE,” repeated ad nauseam.
We can only speculate of course, but it’s our considered opinion that 1011 just might have trouble chatting up the chicks at Freeport 2. General Bill, of course, has no such trouble, having already secured for himself the amorous attentions of Digital, Procyon’s resident fleshpot. Given the above (which we reiterate, is mere speculation), perhaps an equitable arrangement can be made between 1011 and the General – social lessons in exchange for lessons in military management. Tit for tat, as they say. Gah! Damn you Tisko!
In other news, a recent poll launched by the WR(\TH Conner, is seeking input from the server community as to what the next server event should be. The poll will soon be coming to a close, and it appears that the leading idea is that of a Manhunt, whereby, the entire server congregates to destroy every WR(\ITH they see. Asked for input as to what the prize money should be, most respondents replied, “Prize money? Hell, I’d blast those fuckers for free!” Regardless, we at the Herald believe it’s been far too long since the last server event, and have already agreed to sponsor whatever event is chosen. Even if it means rewarding people for killing WR(\ITHs who are, it must be said, merely doing their job.
Finally, an LPI arrest warrant has been issued for the new Rogue, Broll, on charges of ‘drunk and disorderly’. Broll (formerly known as Frankie) was witnessed by several members of the much-maligned clan, Nuns of Procyon (Sisters of Mercy), in a drunken stupor, careening from one piece of furniture to another, and leaving a trail of smashed wreckage in his wake. “Those nuns can kiss my arse!” the Rogue slobbered, directing a lecherous leer at the sisters. “Oh yeah,” he continued, swaying dangerously back and forth, “now there’s a habit I could get into!”
Broll, meet Digital.
For the Herald, this is Ravenwood, signing off.
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| Broll on 11-15-2007 00:17:59 | | |
:D :D :D You jackass Ravenwood! You crack me up!!! | | | | |
| Cheech on 11-15-2007 20:14:47 | | |
Cup of Coffee and the latest issue of the Procyon Herald = perfect morning | | | | |
| Admiral Mank on 11-16-2007 02:51:02 | | |
Its nice not to have my name in these every once and awhile | | | | |
| Kobura on 11-18-2007 21:21:44 | | |
I'd like to think I'll be able to show my face around the universe again soon. This game is too much fun to pass up. | | | | |
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